The last few days have been rough.
BUT, I’m TRYING to see the “good” in every day.
My Depression isn’t lifting.
And so,
I am getting used to eating less.
And less.
The weight does not feel like it’s falling off as quickly as it did a few months ago.
THAT pisses me off.
A LOT.
That means………
I have to eat less than I ALREADY am.
Ok, so instead of 2 Halos, I will only eat 1.
And I will probably cut out Bananas.
TOO much Sugar.
FML.
Binging and Purging is probably NOT helping my cause.
The problem?
My Body is STARVING.
Binging allows me to eat.
I just have to get rid of it after.
Maybe I’m NOT doing a good enough job at bringing it ALL up.
Maybe THAT’S what is causing me to NOT lose?
Puking up Applesauce isn’t MY idea of a good time.
THAT is NOT puke-worthy!?!
Sugar, Calories, and Fat, ARE.
The more the merrier.
Trying to fill that Endless Void.
I threw away my scale.
Weighing myself BEFORE and AFTER a B/P cycle isn’t an option.
I really don’t WANT to buy one.
In fact, I’m Overnight Pet-Sitting at someone’s House, and I HID their scale that was conveniently located in their Bathroom.
NO thanks!
Tucked that Sucker underneath the Sink.
Out of sight,
OUT of mind!
Numbers can get OUT of control for me.
Adding, subtracting, multiplying-
It ALL adds up to equal MY self-worth.
Let’s NOT lower it even MORE.
Shelly's Recovery 