W.T.F.

#TRUESTORY…I am STILL trying to process the SUPER shitty day I had yesterday!

An important meeting at my Church that turned sour, AND then I get to Treatment, and am accused of a failed piss test!?

BEFORE I am even ABLE to TRY to “process” with my Therapist what happened earlier in the day!?

And THEN, to make matters EVEN worse, I am accused of having an INSANE amount of Fentanyl in my system, which I am STILL fervently denying to the Rodger’s STAFF!?!

DUDE- do they think I’m CRAZY!? (DON’T answer that, lol!) 🤣

I wouldn’t touch that crap with a 10 foot pole!?!

WTF!?

But, of COURSE, I’m in a Drug Treatment Program, so they have heard that plea before, I’m sure!?!

I’m SEETHING at this point, because NOT only am I being accused of something that I DIDN’T do, and they WON’T listen to me, they decide that I need someone to pick me UP so that I don’t drive HOME!?

So guess WHO they call!?

The POLICE!?

At this point, I was so distraught that the ONLY way I COULD stop the madness, was TO leave!

I’m NOT an idiot, I wasn’t sticking around for THAT, so I took off!

I just NEEDED to be ALONE, somewhere peaceful, so I head to the Lake Pier down the street from my house.

After a few minutes, my Husband comes looking for me, stating that the LOCAL Police are driving PAST the house looking for my car!?

LOL, I seriously can NOT make this shit UP! 🙄

Good-GRIEF!?!

The Police officer greets me warmly, asking if I knew WHY he was there.

Duh.

Yes, I state, I KNOW why.

He asks if I’m ok, which I AM, just sad and angry of being accused of something that I didn’t do.

We all chat for a few minutes, as the Wellness “check” is under control, obviously, and then he says- “Do you know WHY they actually sent me?

No, not really, I state.

And then he says that my Treatment Team was worried that I was driving UNDER the INFLUENCE!?

Of WHAT!?

You guessed it- FENTANYL!?

Because of the Drug Test.

From a WEEK ago!?! It was my very FIRST piss test, and in those 7 days, I’ve been 100% CLEAN!?

From Marijuana.

MY drug of choice for the past 25+ years.

NOT frickin’ FENTANYL!?!

NOW do you know WHY I was SO upset!?!

I honestly didnt know whether to LAUGH or CRY!?

I was like, REALLY!?

COULD MY DAY GET ANY WORSE!?!

God MUST have a wicked sense of Humor!?

But I ain’t laughing!!!!

I KNOW the TRUTH, and so does the good Lord, so I’m NOT worried.

Frustrated?

Angry?

ABSOLUTELY!

WITHIN GOOD REASON!!

Today is a NEW day.

I’ve called my Treatment Team, and have asked to sit down and CALMLY discuss what and where we go from here. I NEED to be in Treatment.

I WANT to be there!

Fingers CROSSED that I get that chance today…

NOPE,

I CAN’T go back to Treatment.

They DISCHARGED me from the Program when I left the premises.

What a load of 💩…..

SERIOUSLY!?!

I’ve spent the better half of the day on the phone with these people, and haven’t gotten ANYWHERE!?!

The Doctor on site will only let me come BACK,

IF:

I go to DETOX!?!

That is HYSTERICAL to me!

Detox from WHAT exactly!?!?

FENTANYL.

You’ve GOT to be KIDDING me!!!!!

I’ve NEVER used Fentanyl in my LIFE!?

HOW can I detox from something I did NOT take!?!

I just about cackled loudly on the phone, but held it together.

INSTEAD,

Anger ooooozed out of EVERY pore on my body…..

Do I feel BAD that I said some choice words to her?

Absolutely NOT!

There is NOTHING that I despise MORE,

Than being accused of something that I DIDN’T do!

Gahhhhhh!!!

The WORST part is that the Staff REFUSED to listen.

That doesn’t sit well with me!

At ALL!

When people REFUSE to listen,

And I feel that I’m NOT being HEARD?

Ooooo, better watch OUT!

For real.

I do NOT like being silenced!

Especially when I feel that I am being treated unjustly and unfairly.

Which I feel,

That I WAS.

I demanded to speak with the Program Manager.

And then the Director,

Doctor,

And anyone ELSE that I could speak to.

It ended up being a complete Merry-Go-Round!?

LET ME OFF!!

Good-grief….

I feel that MAYBE this is a sign.

Maybe Rodger’s ISN’T the place for me!?

I REALLY need someone who can ADVOCATE for me.

To TRULY listen.

To be empathetic,

And,

SYMPATHETIC,

To what is going on!?

I haven’t found that in ANYONE,

Except for MYSELF!?!

SO,

At THIS point,

Perhaps I just walk away?

Do this on my OWN!

It’s sounding more and more appeasing…..

Siiiiigh!

W.T.F.?!?!?